Time and Space
What had started out as a nonchalant activity is now a down-to-the-wire race against time as I scramble to pack my remaining belongings before a five o'clock deadline tonight. I'm almost finished and, as such, have afforded myself a moment of reflective repose before taping up the last few boxes and taking a final survey of the move.
I'm sure now that I wouldn't have finished packing, had I not taken the past two days off work, and I don't know how I figured I'd complete this in one night. As I said before, this whole moving thing had started out rather noncommittal and I figured things would get done as needed; then there was the imposed postponement due to the trip to London.
Chris and I are talking once a day—down from twice a day when I was away—and it's patently relieving, especially with this work load but as much as I'd like to say that is by no means related to my feelings toward him, I'm definitely sensing a cooling down on my part. Whether that is because we've been apart for so long or because I'm losing interest is yet to be seen, thus I'm determined to wait and play it by ear. The universe knows nothing of obligation, yet I feel I owe it to both of us to see this develop further. And I like the guy.
I was a razor's distance from a hasty decision last night to quit my second job, what with all the weight of moving and work and relationships. Here's another example of me committing myself to one thing and nurturing the side of my ego that is forever wandering. After a lengthy discussion with Chris, I decided I'll present an ultimatum tonight: meet my requests or I'll have to leave. It forces the decision upon them. And as unreasonable as that unspecific demand might sound, there's really a lot more to the whole situation that I can't divulge due to time and space constraints. Or is that redundant, since time and space are the same thing?
Regardless, the laws of time/space are leaving me with little left to finish this packing and so I must away, but not before leaving one final thought for the day, which also happens to be my personal mantra of late:
Do not travel far to other dusty lands, forsaking your own sitting place; if you cannot find the truth where you are now, you will never find it.-- Dogen
