Chrisonomicon
Journal & Weblog Write to Save Your Life May 5, 2003

Wordlog

malevolent / malignant
'Malevolent' is literally 'wishing ill', as a 'malevolent' look or tone of voice. 'Malignant', a more powerful word, means 'wishing to cause harm' as a 'malignant' delight in someone else's misfortunes. With reference to diseases it means 'causing death', as a 'malignant' growth -- contrasted with a 'benign' one which is not normally fatal.
(The Penguin Dictionary of the Confusibles)

compendium
does not mean vast and all-embracing but a succinct summary or abridgement. A compendium provides a complete summary in a brief way.
(The Penguin Dictionary for Writers and Editors)

gunki monogatari
Japanese narratives. Gunki monogatari, or "medieval war tales," dramatized the divisive civil wars that rocked Japan between 1156 and 1221 and resulted in imperial power struggles. Developed during the Kamakura (1185-1333) and Muromachi (1333-1568) periods of Japanese history, these tales institutionalized bravery, courage, and loyalty as a part of the Japanese national character, and formed the basis of many of the plots of Noh and Kabuki plays of traditional Japanese theater. The most highly regarded of these was the Heike monogatari, which dramatized the arrogance of the warring imperial-guard families of the 1180's and their eventual downfall. The medieval war tales contained a strong Buddhist subtext, in that they continually pointed out the ephemeral nature of human life and action.
(The Dictionary of Global Culture)

 
Booklog

Coin Locker Babies by Ryu Murakam
The woman pushed on the baby's stomach and sucked its penis into her mouth; it was thinner than the American menthols she smoked and a bit slimy, like raw fish.

Collected Fictions by Jorge Luis Borges
In 1517, Fray Bartolomé de las Casas, feeling great pity for the Indians who grew worn and lean in the drudging infernos of the Antillean gold mines, proposed to Emperor Charles V that Negroes be brought to the isles of the Caribbean, so that they might grow worn and lean in the drudging infernos of the Antillean gold mines.

Finished

 
Howard Dean for President, 2004

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"Decisive Wandering"
posted Wednesday, July 24, 2002:

Gravity seems stronger lately. Is that possible? I feel heavier, pulled towards the ground, the looseness in my face feels weighted downwards and I stumble home for lunch only to fall onto the couch or the bed or my chair in an exhausted heap. I can only attribute the recent tiredness to working out or my recent coffee intake... that's probably what it is. In fact, I can almost be sure of it, since I only started drinking coffee again since buying my coffee maker last week. Now, the choice is to give up coffee again or wait it out and see if I get used to the morning caffeination ritual.

Rick came over for lunch this afternoon and I made noodles. He's trapped in a marriage with children and has only recently come to terms with being gay. All I can do is be there as an understanding ear. I could never be empathetic because I can't can't imagine myself in his situation, but part of me wonders if it's because I don't want to imagine it. Am I simply afraid to deal with it? His face is like an open floodgate and it's hard to believe that he could manage any sort of bold-faced lie without the truth flooding through his water-blue eyes. His story makes me feel fortunate to be where I am.

I have to work the part-time job tonight and I'm dreading it. This frustration always wells up when I realize my evening hours have been sequestered, although it quickly vanishes once I actually get there. The job isn't difficult, and I do enjoy interacting with the people. Had my evening been planned like any other free evening this week, I'd most likely be spending it by going home and putzing around anyway, so the key is to suck it up and get it over with.

No situation is purely good?beneficial, convenient, what you want?or purely bad?harmful, self-defeating, pointless. Whenever I couldn't make up my mind regarding a difficult decision, my dad would sit me down with a piece of paper and a Bic pen. "Draw a line down the middle," he'd say, and on each side of the paper, I'd scribble out the "pro's" and "con's" in my awkward, childish script. While the column with the most didn't necessarily always win out, it taught me utilitarianism in a way that has seeped under my skin and affected my very ability to let things take their course. Could this be the source of my overanalytic nature that seeks to always find the path towards the greatest good? «

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