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Booklog
Timequake by Kurt Vonnegut
The Straw Men by Michael Marshall
Palmerston is not a big town, nor one that can convincingly be said to be at the top of its game.
Vineland by Thomas Pynchon
Later than usual one summer morning in 1984, Zoyd Wheeler drifted awake in sunlight through a creeping fig that hung in the window, with a squadron of blue jays stomping around on the roof.
Collected Fictions by Jorge Luis Borges
In 1517, Fray Bartolomé de las Casas, feeling great pity for the Indians who grew worn and lean in the drudging infernos of the Antillean gold mines, proposed to Emperor Charles V that Negroes be brought to the isles of the Caribbean, so that they might grow worn and lean in the drudging infernos of the Antillean gold mines.
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posted Monday, March 25, 2002
Punching Through
The past week was like Jell-O. I'd push through each day, but the viscosity of my activities would pull me back or leave me suspended, mid-step, and I'd have to push through with enough consistent force to make it through. There were no free-flowing moments. Every minute was deliberate.
Work, school, reading, games, and exercise. Hot water. Mix. Pour. Plans filled the square molds of my calendar quickly as though they resembled nothing of their gelled counterparts, threatening to overflow, and once they set it was time to start the engine of routine, that autopilot in my head that takes helm and dictates action based on a list of rules like a finite-state automaton.
And thus, I punched through the week, working because I have to, reading because I want to finish the book, gaming because I committed myself to completing it. Each activity was bland, tasteless, void of any meaning besides "getting it done."
I berate myself because this isn't living (further mental torment over my current situation provided by Thoreau). Really, the only thing I seem to be working towards or drawing any sort of motivation from lately is this remote idea of my future where I'll be financially, educationally, and professionally stable.
But enough ranting. Things are really falling into place, and I suppose the main thing is that I'm happy with where things are going. Sometimes I just have to punch through things to ignore this itch of malcontentedness that afflicts me periodically. I like to think it's a Sagittarius thing.
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