What is happiness to you? Is it getting married and living a life of quiet routine? Sometimes I wonder if I need to re-evaluate my priorities in order to find some sort of contentment in life, where the pounding night-life that serves mainly to feed ego and superficiality is only ever explored in the corners of imagination or on the musty pages of a paperbound novel.

It's all perspective. I keep defaulting on the idea that because I get a little bit of enjoyment out of partying, drinking, and drug useage, that it's a viable source of happiness or, at least, some kind of quasi-contentment. Like any repeated exposure, however, it wears on your senses. You grasp frantically at the euphoria of the first year as it speeds over the horizon at an exponential velocity. Everyone becomes bent and faded.

There is happiness. I'm constantly under the impression that it is all around us, we just have to start looking in the right places, open ourselves to it, and let it flow through us but the interview on the radio this morning had me thinking that perhaps happiness isn't something we acquire but rather something that we produce as a reaction to our condition in life. Can we shift our paradigms to fit our condition instead of employing the popular notion that it's the other way around?

Rouse's buttery voice said various things to me this morning, but between all the words there was the sense of satisfaction?a sense that all this extraneous artistry and exposure was merely icing on the cake?and I tossed about images of living on a farm in yellow sunlight fields, and I saw myself inside-out with my self being superfluous to the happiness streaming from between every atom like electricity.

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