I went to see a psychic tonight, as hoakie as that may sound. John Palmer said they offer good inspiration and direction. She was good, and got many points right on the nose, such as: my being spiritual, but not religious; my wanting to do something completely opposite, career-wise; my being involved with someone but not in love with them; my love of writing (she pulled that one out of thin air). There may have been others, but those stand out.

As far as direction is concerned, she said I will work in my current career for a few more years and then she sees me going off and "doing my own thing." I'm destined to have two loves before I get married around 30, and I'll have 2 or 4 children--my choice--although, she said I'm not interested in that right now, which I'm not. She said I have an enormous amount of growing and maturing to do. I can agree and attest to this.

She mentioned that I was harboring a lot of negative energy. Actually, she said I have a good flow of positive energy, but for some reason, the negative energy was pooling instead of flowing through. This explains the "tired sprirt" she says I have. Whether by revelation or power of suggestion, this negative energy began to reveal itself. I nodded my head in recognition of what she was saying--that I'm meant to be happy, but am not right now. I feel this to be true.

When she said I'm meant to do something completely opposite of what I'm doing, career-wise, I teared up and almost started bawling. I don't know why this affected me so much. Perhaps because it had been weighing on my mind for so long, and it was a relief to finally hear someone acknowledge it.

Oh, back to the negative energy. She said I need to be cleansed, but that it was a very difficult process and would cost $300. I told her I couldn't afford that. Instead, she offered me a crystal, which she said would serve as a "band-aid" in the meantime, absorbing negative energy and giving positive energy in return.

After the reading, I left feeling somewhat nauseated and drained. I simply didn't feel good. So, I decided to call John Palmer and discuss the whole thing, but he was out. I needed to talk to someone, so I called Jeff, but I'm not sure if that was a good idea.

I hold the crystal in my hand, on my cheek, on my chest like a stethascope. I try to imagine it drawing bad energy out of me, but it doesn't seem to help. So, I write because it distracts and comforts me. Perhaps if I go work out, I'll feel better.

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