Chrisonomicon

Tuesday, May 15, 2001

Ever have one of those weeks that moves like a 28.8 download? Graduation is this Friday, and I'm trying to savor the days, but my health is in decline and I'm dealing with a feeling that slightly resembles stress, at work. I'm not stressed, per se, but the daily grind is repelling me like a 60Hz refresh rate. I keep telling myself that the rest of life won't be like this. I'll pick it back up.

Books have kept me company in the interim, Neale Donald Walsch being my current author and mentor (thank you, John). The clarity of thought that I gain from his writing is good for my head, being cluttered for so long with dusty, jumbled thoughts and disheveled stacks of dreams. I push aside piles and blow clean surfaces to make room for new, shiny ideas. Many of them are ideas of my own that I've spit-shined after rediscovery.

Besides reading, I've revisited a bad habit ? the PlayStation. On a whim at the local exchange the other day, I purchased a copy of Final Fantasy IX and Lunar 2. I am sad to say that I am the classic sequel addict. This is bad if I follow past playing patterns (9 hours in one sitting), but so far I have been able to monitor my time pretty well. And to think I was almost free of the habit. I had been PlayStation-celibate for almost a year.

Most likely, I'll have to return to that self-imposed celibacy once again, as Aunt Kay arrived this morning from Illinois for my graduation. It's good to see her, and she looks good for her age. Despite old memories of her tendency to talk (I cringed when my father told me she was staying for a week), I'm actually appreciating her presence and look forward to the break from the normal crowd. Speaking of which, there hasn't been much of lately. Lindsay is off in her own world with Matt, Ricky is doing godknowswhat, and my other random friends are off playing without me.

Therefore I suppose my preoccupations at the moment are fitting. Perhaps that's why this week seems to have sludged onward; I am too consciously anticipating its passage by pretending to be in the waiting room, reading, playing games, mindlessly passing time. Ingrained responsibility causes me to hesitantly approach these activities because I've been raised to avoid wasting time. I'm not worried, though. I have an entire eternity to live, create, and play.