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Write to Save Your Life

Painter at Easel (1631), Gerrit Dou

Monday, January 21, 2002

The constant in my life -- by default, not by plan -- became a loose group of friends. After a few years, that group's membership and routines began to solidify. We met weekly for dinner at a neighborhood restaurant. We traveled together, moved one another's furniture, painted one another's apartments, cheered one another on at sporting events and open-mike nights. One day I discovered that the transition period I thought I was living wasn't a transition period at all. Something real and important had grown there. I belonged to an urban tribe.

When I first read this article, I was shocked at how accurately it describes my life and the lives of so many of my friends. Although I'm gay and thus legally condemned to a lifetime classification as a "never-married" ? thanks, in part, to the brains of the U.S. Census Bureau ? it's relieving to hear Ethan Watters make a formidable argument to the extent that urban groupings are a "fresh expression of [family values]," rather than a degredation of them.

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