Chrisonomicon

Thursday, April 5, 2001

I can?t get enough of indirect lighting. It takes the familiarity of home and transforms it into a new, mysterious place to explore. In an attempt to regain some motivation, I?ve started spring cleaning ? or at least thought about cleaning. It hasn?t actually happened yet, but I?ve got a few things picked up and the lights are positioned in a way that makes the place seem quite livable. I don?t know what it is with me and this obsession with cleaning every time I need a rebirth. I could just take up a new activity or read a book or actually exercise at the expensive gym I?ve been avoiding. Instead, I spend my free time cleaning, downloading music, watching TV ? my GOD, the television ? and simply being lazy. I hate to say it, but I?ve come to adore Bob Barker and The Price is Right. I need to get out of this house. One thing I keep telling myself is that if I actually go out and do something, I may find some fodder for creative and mental burning. Simply stated, my life has been a bore lately, so I have nothing to write about. I had considered going out with Mike, Lisa, Eric, MB and the rest tomorrow night, but I cancelled today because I want to spend some time at home ? you guessed it ? cleaning. Last night, Ricky and I watched Gia, with Angelina Jolie. It?s funny to think that at one point, my life was almost as glamorous and drug crazed as the next supermodel, but that somehow, I got a grip and landed myself a nice, quiet life in this beautifully suffocating city. As Gia once said, "I?ve been to heaven, through it, in it, outside it, above it, and beyond it." At one point, though, I had to stop and realize I was going nowhere. Nowadays, I mostly feel like I?m actually headed towards a productive future, but the kid in me wants it allnowdamnit. Life is so not instantly gratifying. So, in the meantime ? while I?m waiting for my gratification ? I think I?ll clean out my closet. People are going to think I?m on speed. Oh, Gia, how did you do it?