Chrisonomicon

Sunday, April 1, 2001

Today?s the first day of April, and it?s hard to believe that the semester is more than halfway over. Lindsay just got back from her California trip, and she talked my ear off earlier this morning. My God, that girl can talk. She had driven out there with Nicole, and I had planned on joining them, but decided against it a few weeks before spring break. Road trips have never been my thing, and I?m working feverishly to get myself on level footing, financially.

The weather outside is beautiful, and the sky is scattered with cartoon clouds. I?ve been taking Sumo with me everywhere this weekend and while walking him today, I saw many people doing yardwork and housework. I was slightly jealous. This is the kind of weather that makes those activities enticing and I can?t wait to get a house of my own. I?ve actually been looking quite a bit lately, and even received counseling on a mortgage. It seems to be the wisest investment at this point, considering I?m going to be staying here a few more years for grad school.

Despite being on a good track, though, why does it feel like something?s missing in my life? I sense that something I had before is now gone, and I still can?t pinpoint it. Perhaps it?s the lack of true friends in my life, although I don?t really make time for the friends I have now. Maybe it?s a longing for a close relationship, although I really love being single. I?ve also worried that I?ve been slipping into a corporate rut that I may not be able to get out of, and that I?m losing my freedom. It could be all of these things combined.

That?s one thing I?ve realized, is that most problems aren?t due to one overwhelming factor, but are a composite of many, irritating, smaller problems. I?m the lease likely person to sweat small stuff; most of the time I?ll let just about anything slide off my back. But I?m starting to wonder if the devil really is in the details -- the little things that make up the big, important ones.