Chrisonomicon

Sunday, November 5, 2000

Fat fluffs of snow drift lazily to the ground, the first real snow of the season, and the change in weather is so apropos considering the changes in my life of late.

Denver was calling me so I made the trek to go clubbing last night. It was a good idea because I met someone I had been cruising for quite a while and it's funny how things seem to fall into place when you follow your heart but play with your head.

Kurt is at Westpoint this weekend for a football game and I should start seeing other people. Of course, it didn't happen. When I met Eric last night, I realized things between Kurt and I are over. Why would I be looking if I were happy with Kurt?

The light through the trees plays kaleidescopic patterns on my bedroom floor. I get lost in the sea of shapes and rerplay the final moments of the night over in my head.

"Hi, you're Chris, right?"

I turned around and hoped I didn't look as startled as I felt, but a rosy feeling of triumph welled up in my chest as I rounded to face a handsome, well-dressed guy of about 25 (later, to be discovered at 30).

"Yeah, Eric, right?" We shook hands. His handshake was firm, warm and his hands were calloused. It was the first time I had ever spoken to him yet I had known who he was for a little over a year. Eric had dated a club-acquaintance of mine for about 9 months before breaking up in early July.

The meeting seemed inevitable, whether due to familiarity or something more sublime, and the date was made. At the moment, however, I need to work things out in my life before I start anything new. The snow brings with it some answers. I've discovered that winter has the ability to bring people closer together or push a person into solitude. Experiece has taught me that I can handle either.