Chrisonomicon

Monday, July 8, 2002

Barring the typical apprehensions regarding hitchhikers, I'd always wanted to give one a lift whether by motivation for karmic improvement or sheer curiosity and had the opportunity to do so last night for two college kids bound for my hometown.

I had just finished a short visit with Steve, breaking the news that I had gone out with his roommate the previous evening and that there was some mutual interest, dating-wise. He seemed to take it fairly well?a perception later altered when he called to say he was really rather upset. I was my usual, awkward self at dinner and so when I left I was rather angst-ridden and moody.

On the way home I caught sight of the kids at the exit and, without much thinking, pulled over and asked where they were headed. Perhaps some sort of good deed would perk me up, I thought. A quick once-over and I decided they looked safe enough. They piled into the car and after a few introductions it turned out they attend the local rich-white private college in town, which also seemed to ease the unfamiliarity of new acquaintances since?while I'm not exactly white and far from rich?I do drive a nice car, wear second-hand clothing, and was raised in the same area of town, therefore sharing a lot of the same vocabulary and world views, as it soon became apparent.

We chatted for the first half of the ride, and listened to some of my mix CDs for the rest as they complimented me on my music taste and I congratulated myself on my good Samaritanship. Thanking me as they got out of the car, I said not to worry about it, adding that I'm sure I'll need a ride at some point in the future.

It brought me back to the idea that meaning in life is derived from human interaction. Everything else seems sort of extraneous to relations between yourself and other people. Applying that tentative theory to my current situation with Steve, I decided that whatever happens I should act accordingly with my feelings for him. That would be easier if I didn't have to listen to him add that clause at the end of every compliment he gives me ("You're [insert random compliment], but I'm just not in a place where I want to [insert committal activity]").

If I envision myself as a traveler on the speedway of human interaction, it would be easiest to hitchhike and wear my heart on my sleeve or perhaps a sandwich board of allegiances, letting people pick me up, rather than navigating it myself and playing the whole dating strip-tease of getting to know someone. Of course, easy isn't always the best policy. While often I find myself becoming jaded in regards to dating, I remind myself that anything worth having takes hard work.