Chrisonomicon

Monday, October 9, 2000

Escaping the confies of my apartment to attend class, I was surprised to look down and discover a heavily wrapped parcel at my doorstep. Opening it for a peek inside, I discovered a pie tin wrapped in tin-foil, wrapped in plastic, wrapped in a grocery bag. Contained within was a pile of richly-smelling, fudge brownies.

I wondered who could have left them, recalling that my next-door neighbor's door had slammed earlier as though someone had opened and closed it quickly. It must have been the new girls that moved in next door. I smiled to myself, the thought of girl-crushes and secret-love-brownies running through my head. But suddenly, the smile disappeared from my face.

What if they are poisoned brownies left by an evil stalker? There was no note or label to indicate their safety or nutritional content, no knock on the door to indicate the gift, just a tin of brownies on my doorstep. Very suspicious indeed.

I carefully carried them inside and set them on the table. They looked very innocent just sitting there, filling the room with their warm aroma and I wondered how such diabolical thoughts could have ever crossed my mind when they smelled so good.

I shrugged and grabbed a few before heading out the door. If I was going to die in class from boredom, I might as well speed the process with some delicious, poisoned brownies.