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Write to Save Your Life

Painter at Easel (1631), Gerrit Dou

Friday, October 20, 2000

I like clean. I need clean. As a matter of fact, the other day, as I was reflecting on this idea of cleanliness I realized that it manifests itself in a rather unusual way: when I need motivation to go to the gym and work out, I repeat to myself, "I am clean."

It never really struck me as odd but it works in any case because as soon as I start tossing that idea around in my head, I am filled with the motivation and desire to pump myself up, and believe me, when I'm done working out, I am anything but clean—a situation quickly remedied by a scalding shower and the frothy lather of antibacterial detergents.

I briefly considered this as an early sign of obsessive-compulsive behavior and, frankly, it scared me. I began to obsess over whether or not I was OC. Then I realized that my worrying was probably compounding the matter and decided to leave it alone, but to this day, I am a firm believer that one can never be too clean.

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