Chrisonomicon

Wednesday, September 6, 2000

The dentist's drill is still ringing in my ears, the high-pitched bleeps and whirs echoing through my head, vibrating my jaw. If you close your eyes and let the drugs go to your head, you can almost hear the tiny alien voices trying to communicate with you.

I got my first fillings today. That's right. I had a cavity. Whew... I feel so much better now that I've said it. I've gone 21 years without having a single one and always assumed I'd never have one because I take pretty decent care of my chompers. My downfall happens to be a bad habit of grinding my teeth while I sleep. I'm forced to wear a hideous, plastic night guard that makes me look like i'm on my way to a boxing match every night before I sleep.

I'm terribly self-conscious about this because, as it happens, I have a tendency to drool. A lot. Having a huge, honkin' piece of plastic in my mouth doesn't help. I literally have dreams of being in a swamp. Therefore, I probably don't wear my night guard as much as I should and will probably end up waking one morning to find I have no teeth left. This also causes me to have nightmares about waking in a swamp with no teeth.