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Reason #15 to Hablas Español
I've decided to reduce the amount of meat I eat, so today, I stopped by the local Turbo Taco to see what they had in the way of authentic Mexican, vegetarian cuisine. To my dismay, the menu was in Spanish (they weren't kidding when they say "authentic" Mexican food). Asking the boy through the drive-thru speaker didn't help much, as he didn't seem to speak a word of English, so I gave up trying to ask about items on the menu and try to decipher the words myself.
Adovada Burrito, Pollo Burrito... Lengua Burrito. That sounds close to "legume," I thought. I could tell the drive-thru boy was becoming impatient, so I ordered, blindly and paid $2.00 to the surly face behind the window.
"One Lengua burrito." I took the bag and pulled out into the parking lot. I was starving. Ripping open the paper parcel, I stuffed the burrito in my mouth and took a huge bite. That's funny, I thought to myself. There is meat in it. Upon further mastication, I realized that it was definitely beef of some sort, but it had a strange, soft, chewy texture. I looked down at what I had bitten into.
A wave of nausea washed over me as I realized I must have mistakenly ordered some sort of cow organ delight. "Lengua" sounds like "language." Oh shit, this must be cow tongue! Now, I consider myself a fairly reasonable person when it comes to food, and I'll try pretty much anything. But there was something about eating a piece of an animal that helped it digest food that really put me over the edge. I chewed the remaining chunks in my mouth and gulped it down with a large chaser of Sprite.
I chided myself for being so closeminded, but quickly got over it. Tossing the remaining tongue burrito into the garbage, I headed next door to the Taco Bell where I was rewarded with a 95¢ bean burrito. I should have taken Spanish in high school. Who knows, maybe someday I'll learn it. But until then, I'm going to stick with places that speak English (or at least have a translator on hand).
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